what should i do now

I used to start my year having sex no matter what time so that way i could feel like i would have a great year full of it !!!! but this year sadly i have not had any (at list not with another person only by my self ( well the body does have necessities LOL . I do have a living boyfriend , that i can not understand any more before Xmas he sleep in the couch for 2 weeks , now he is back in the bed but does not speak or touch or anything anymore is it ??? i am no longer sexy to him? does he do not care any more ? i do not want to ask? he looks sad all the time ?? but last time i ask he cut my head off !!! so no more i wont ask !! the next question is do i really care ??? I guess i do but only because i have a man in my bed and not able to used him = ( plus how can we have gone this far man i hate this i always wanted to be in love with some one and i can not find him !!! but this time i refuse to look and look if it is some were he will come to me i guess !!! i just miss so much to touch someone. kiss/ hug / feel each other and just make love !!! OH GOD make loveeeeeee its been soo long that i think i am forgetting (yea right but to be honest i am not sure this man will stay here for only a couple months more and then i guess he will move on..... not sure any more but in the good things is my daugther is doing better and if she keeps this up i can go back to work so when he leaves i will be ready i hope, still no insurance to take care of my arm sucks but why complain i am seen the devastation on the earthquake like i saw with my own eyes when i was only 8 years old God that brings me so many memories especially how we sleep on the streets for months it was cold and hard but we made it. we did see dead on the streets this is going to take along time you know its funny but i have notice every year in January something happens that shakes the hole world last year a tsunami this year this hmmmm What are u trying to tell us God ??????